Time
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Activity
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6:00am - 10:00am
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10:00am - 11:00am
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- Make & drink morning coffee (5 creams, 4 sugars per cup)
- Eat breakfast: 1lb bacon, 1qt. milk, stack of 5 flapjacks (don't forget to use plenty of butter, syrup, and peanut butter on each layer), 3 eggs. More if hungry or losing weight
- Remain in underwear so as to develop a pavlovian reaction of comfort, ease, and satisfaction that will carry over into stressful periods of modelling work
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11:00am - 1:00pm
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- Pour 64oz. Coca-Cola
- Drink soda while watching Oprah and Jerry Springer in the La-Z-Boy. If Mom or Dad is on Springer again, watch Game Show Network
- Try to get a nap in
- Remain in underwear
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1:00pm - 2:00pm
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- Snack on king size Snickers and Nutter Butter cookies
- Remain in La-Z-Boy: Ricki Lake should be on by now
- Remain in underwear
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2:00pm - 3:00pm
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- News is on now (yawn!): call Mom
- Eat lunch
- Sunday: spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, minnestrone soup
- Monday: Carl's Jr. double chili cheese burger meal, large sized
- Tuesday: Del Taco macho nacho, macho fries, and steak fajita burrito
- Wednesday: double bacon cheeseburger, tater tots
- Thursday: 3 cans Stagg chili, baked potato topped with sour cream, bacon bits, shredded cheese, etc.
- Friday: Taco Bell ten pack of tacos, burrito supreme
- Saturday: fried egg sandwich, milkshake, potato salad
- Remain in underwear
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3:00pm - 5:00pm
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- Put on regular clothes (Whew!, finally a chance to relax!)
- Go to Safeway, get groceries
- Put underwear back on
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5:00pm - 6:00pm
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- Grab 3 Budweisers
- Back to La-Z-Boy for more training
- Take nap; if too exhausted, try to find something other than news on tv
- Remain in underwear
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6:00pm - 8:00pm
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- Eat dinner
- Sunday: barbecued pork ribs, corn on the cob slathered in butter 'til full
- Monday: 4 cheese enchiladas, rice, beans, lots of chips and salsa
- Tuesday: bucket of KFC chicken, quart of mashed potatoes and gravy
- Wednesday: potstickers, kung pao beef, sweet and sour pork, lots of fried rice
- Thursday: Burger King double whopper with cheese meal, king sized
- Friday: large plate of ravioli, garlic bread, clam chowder, salami and prosciutto antipasto, bottle of wine
- Saturday: cheese and french bread fondue, bottle of wine
- While eating, flip through newspaper underwear ads, Victoria's Secret, and Lane Bryant catalogues for inspiration and ideas
- Remain in underwear
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8:00pm - 11:00pm
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- Prime time's on, hurry up with dinner and get to La-Z-Boy with 64oz Coca-Cola!
- Midway through prime time, get a large bowl of ice cream
- Remain in underwear
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11:00pm - 10:00am
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- News is on again (does that much really happen in the world every 3 or 4 hours?!?!) - go to bed
- Engrain underwear training subliminally- sleep in underwear
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Page last updated: 5/24/2005